Today was a Kind of a Eid for the Sunderland (Mackems) fans, what better for them than for Newcastle to get beat (plus get knocked out of a tournament), so for you wo dont know anything about Sunderland (beside of last years 15 poiints last place in the prem & the 19 point they got in 2002) here it goes:
The least intelligent species in the universe. The Mackem (Homo Mackemus) have been proven to be one of man's direct descendants although their brain power is thought to be vastly inferior to that of your average caveman. Whilst appearing on the outside to be a normal human being (apart from the obvious hairiness and large foreheads) , a number of traits have become apparent in which the Mackems differ from normal man:
1) Amazing speed - using alcohol as a catalyst, the Mackem is able to run faster than any previous human species. Some have been clocked at speeds as high as 50 miles per hour on hearing the words "Last Orders".
2) Vanishing - Mackems are very good at vanishing suddenly without reason or cause. An example being during June 2006 when the Mackem football team suddenly dissapeared from the Premiership.
3) The ability to kick a ball with greater accuracy than any other human species to date. It's just a shame that Sunderland Football team has very few Mackems on the squad.
4) Scum-vision - similar to ESP, an evolving knack at being able to detect his greatest enemy, at several miles distant. Useful in avoiding Geordies and Smoggies (often by changing football leagues - see dissapearance), and thus a useful beating prevention tool.
5) Extra tough livers - evolution has given Mackems not only a liver able to resist alcohol poisoning, but one that needs alcohol to function correctly. Mackems thus need to drink everyday for their bodies to function correctly. Unfortunately this also effects their mental capacity making the Mackems unable to communicate with common man apart from a few simple phrases such as "Cmon Sun'lun" and "Feck off you Geordie bastard".
Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Mackem"
The least intelligent species in the universe. The Mackem (Homo Mackemus) have been proven to be one of man's direct descendants although their brain power is thought to be vastly inferior to that of your average caveman. Whilst appearing on the outside to be a normal human being (apart from the obvious hairiness and large foreheads) , a number of traits have become apparent in which the Mackems differ from normal man:
1) Amazing speed - using alcohol as a catalyst, the Mackem is able to run faster than any previous human species. Some have been clocked at speeds as high as 50 miles per hour on hearing the words "Last Orders".
2) Vanishing - Mackems are very good at vanishing suddenly without reason or cause. An example being during June 2006 when the Mackem football team suddenly dissapeared from the Premiership.
3) The ability to kick a ball with greater accuracy than any other human species to date. It's just a shame that Sunderland Football team has very few Mackems on the squad.
4) Scum-vision - similar to ESP, an evolving knack at being able to detect his greatest enemy, at several miles distant. Useful in avoiding Geordies and Smoggies (often by changing football leagues - see dissapearance), and thus a useful beating prevention tool.
5) Extra tough livers - evolution has given Mackems not only a liver able to resist alcohol poisoning, but one that needs alcohol to function correctly. Mackems thus need to drink everyday for their bodies to function correctly. Unfortunately this also effects their mental capacity making the Mackems unable to communicate with common man apart from a few simple phrases such as "Cmon Sun'lun" and "Feck off you Geordie bastard".
Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Mackem"
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